by Joan Celebi, Ed.M., CLC
Founder, SpecialNeedsParentCoach.com

Have you ever been told by your health insurance company that they won't cover what your child needs to be healthy and well?

Today I'd like to share one of my own experiences and put out a call to action to every health insurance company in the United States: if you must tell a family that you are denying coverage, make it a top priority to use language that is considerate and respectful.

Recently we received a letter from our health insurance company stating that they would no longer cover a medication that my son takes for acid reflux -- with no possibility of an appeal.  While reflux may not sound too bad, it can become serious if left untreated. 

The letter went on to state a list of possible substitutes for this medication -- none of which is appropriate for a child, according to our pediatrician.  The closing statement of the letter read "We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause ..."

I had stayed pretty calm as I read this letter, but the "sorry for the inconvenience" part really got to me.  INCONVENIENCE??  Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND?   

This particular medication is the only one available for reflux that comes in a children's dissolvable tablet.  The only other alternative is an over-the-counter pill that has to be swallowed whole (not crushed up).  So our options are to pay hundreds of dollars per month out-of-pocket for the dissolvable prescription tablet, or try to teach him how to take the much cheaper, over-the-counter pill.  Normally, that decision would be a no-brainer, but there's one problem:  my son struggles with anxiety, and one of his fears is, you guessed it, CHOKING.  Past efforts to get my son to swallow a pill have been disastrous.

Our letter is just one example of what many parents of children with special needs must endure all too often as they grapple with our increasingly difficult health care system. I started wondering about the thousands of other letters like this, which health insurance companies send out every day to families across the nation.  Do they say "sorry for the inconvenience" when they deny coverage for, say, a child's wheelchair?  A needed therapy?  A necessary surgery? 

I "get" that health insurance companies have their reasons for discontinuing coverage of certain medications.  But I would be so very grateful if these companies could avoid the use of insultingly euphamistic words like "inconvencience" in their communications with families.

For instance, our letter might have closed with something like "We apologize for the hour-long tantrums you are about to experience every day." 

Or, "We wish you well in your endeavor to convince your son that he will not die from swallowing a pill whole."

Sarcasm aside, there are two things that are certainly important to health insurance companies.  One is customer relations, and the other is cutting costs.  Sending friendlier letters to families meets both of those objectives.  It doesn't cost a thing in terms of time or money to communicate in a more sensitive, thoughtful way with families.  And more respectful wording might make bad news a little less bitter pill for parents to swallow.