by Joan Celebi, Ed.M., CLC
Founder, SpecialNeedsParentCoach.com

When I received 2 calls in 2 hours from overwhelmed moms asking this same question, I knew I needed to write about this topic for my blog readers, too.

"Is it really okay for me to put my own needs before my family's?"

Yes!  Not only is it okay -- sometimes it's a must, not only for your own well-being, but also because you need to take excellent care of yourself, so you can CONTINUE to take excellent care of your children and family. 

This is one of those concepts that's not hard to understand, but can be a challenge to put into practice -- especially when you have a child with special needs and you juggle multiple demands on your time and energy. 

To get you started, here are some examples of times when you might put your own needs first:

- Going out for coffee with friends, instead of your usual Saturday morning trip to the library, because you haven't seen them in months and Twitter is becoming your best friend.

- Saying no to an extra activity that your child wants to join, becuase it would be exhausting for you to drive them back and forth to yet another thing.

- Joining a carpool, even if your child prefers to be driven only by you, so you can cut down on the amount of time you spend driving.

- Allowing family members to prepare their own alternative foods, or go without some parts of a meal, because you no longer wish to serve a full menu of dinner options every evening. 

- Cutting down on your child's therapy schedule because you're on overload from all the goals and strategies you have to follow through with at home.

- Hiring a sitter so you can exercise, take naps, go to a movie, take an art class -- anything you need or enjoy (errands don't count!)

... You get the idea.  The possibilities are infinite! 

Sure, there are going to be exceptions to each of these examples.  The idea here is to pinpoint the situations when you CAN put your needs first -- so you'll have more energy and feel more positive about the situations when you CAN'T put your own needs first. 

Give this a try!  Your family in the long run really will be better off with a happier, healthier YOU!